MORNINGTON CRESCENT
    Edward Cree
for the CSSCGC 2010

Object:
	The object of the game is simple:  Reach Mornington Crescent before your opponent does.

Rules:
	The definitive reference for Mornington Crescent play, "NF Stovold’s Mornington Crescent: Rules and Origins" is out of print.  Your local bookshop might have a copy of "The Little Book of Mornington Crescent" by Tim, Graeme, Barry and Humph, but that won't help you much as we're playing the War Provision Rationing Rules of 1942, except that Rule 9b(iii) is modified: 'sandwich' must be replaced with 'coconut' in the 3rd paragraph.
	Essentially, though, you and the computer player take turns naming Tube stations, according to a certain set of rules.  The winner is whoever names Mornington Crescent.  However, under Strievenhoe's Interpretation of Rule K.(ix)-5, it is considered bad form to go there too early (even if able), as this reduces the amount of enjoyment available to be derived from the game - and is hence unfair to the other player who was looking forward to an exciting wrangle.

Tools:
	Since the vast majority of standard-issue humans are incapable of holding the entire ruleset of Mornington Crescent in their head at once, a helpful tool (unrevealingly called 'sdists') has been provided, which runs on your PC (it is compiled for Linux, but the sources should still compile ok under other OSes).  Simply type in the name of the station you are currently at, and it will suggest another station to which you are permitted to move.  (You can also type 'quit' to quit sdists)
	Note that sdists will not always pick the best available move; it merely chooses at random from your available options.  Sometimes it will tell you that the current station "is close to victory!", meaning that you can win the game on your next move.
	You can also prefix the name with control characters: "*" will list all the stations you can move to, while "!" will list all those you /cannot/.

History:
	Mornington Crescent first appeared in the opening episode of the sixth series of I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue, broadcast on 22 August 1978. Although five episodes transmitted in 1974–1975 are still lost, Mornington Crescent makes no appearance before 1978 but was played in every surviving episode of the sixth series.
	The origins of the game are not clear. One claim is that it was invented by Geoffrey Perkins, who stated in an interview that Mornington Crescent was created as a non-game. According to chairman Humphrey Lyttelton, the game was invented to vex the series producer, who was unpopular with the panellists. One day the team were drinking when they heard him coming. "Quick," one said, "Let's invent a game with rules he'll never understand."
	Barry Cryer, on Radio 4's Today programme, stated that Geoffrey Perkins did not invent the game, which he said had been around since the sixties. In The Guardian dated 6 September 2008, Bunny May, a contributor to the letters page, claims that he (along with John Junkin and David Clime) invented the game in 1970, in an actors' club off Shaftesbury Avenue called Gerry's (which was run at the time by Gerald Campion), in order to infuriate and bemuse patrons whom they found boring or boorish.
	However, a "game" called "Finchley Central" was described in the Spring 1969 issue of the mathematical magazine manifold, edited by Ian Stewart and John Jaworski at the University of Warwick. Douglas Hofstadter referred to the article in his book Metamagical Themas. The game is referred to as an "English game" in an article on "non-games" as follows:
	Two players alternate naming the stations of the London Underground. The first to say "Finchley Central" wins. It is clear that the "best" time to say "Finchley Central" is exactly before your opponent does. Failing that it is good that he should be considering it. You could, of course, say "Finchley Central" on your second turn. In that case, your opponent puffs on his cigarette and says, "Well, shame on you".

IN MEMORIAM
	Humphrey Lyttelton MCMXXI-MMVIII RIP